this weekend was awesome once again

friday was jess's surprise party which sucked because they wouldnt let me do anything.. though me and glenna did get her a crown that said birthday princess and a sash that said birthday girl.. and all the guys were really jealous
..seriously though they were

so me, adam, sack, friefeld, neil, dopeman, and jess left. goldman came and got half of us and the other half went with mattheww
after uhh doing what we had to do we went to amandas house where we were joined by alex, kyle, kevin, matt, tom, and whoever else i cant remember
we hung out for a while
then amandas asshole dickhead brother kicked us all out which sucked but was still mighty funny
"OK WHO BROUGHT THE BOOZE? AND WHOS SMOKING REEFER DOWN HERE. IM NOT AN IDIOT I SMELL REEFER"
ahahahahaha and kyle and friar were hiding in the bathroom together cause they were scared so amandas brother hears them in there
him: "WHATS GOING ON IN THE BATHROOM?"
amanda: "i dont know"
him: WHATS GOING ON IN THERE?
amanda: i honestly dont know
him: [knocks on door.. kyle and matt come out]
"what were you guys doing in there"
kyle: nothing yo you dont have a problem with two lesbians making out but you have a problem with gay people? are you fuckin serious? {...continues to try to convice amandas brother that they are gay}
him: {kicks everyone out}

the car ride to englishtown then back to adams was less than comfortable
it consisted of me, frifeld, adam, sack, and dopeman all fitting in friefelds 2 door car
not fun at all

then everyone got back to adams and we hung out.. and stuff
and eddie came as he always does
but thankfully kevin was there to protect me this time hahahh

it was afun night



last night was awesome too
went to jess's with joe, adam, neil, dopeman dave, kristine, kassie, and eddie
basically got completely fucked up.. again
we played kings with vodka .. more than once
i was retarted
great times

then joe drove me and adam around at like 1 which was quite unsafe
we dropped adam off at home then me and joe went to the diner
joe ate and then we went back to jess's because i left my bag and i had to break into her house to get it since she was sleeping hah
then joe drove me home

good stuff

lets see

this weekend was insanity
went to neils party on saturday and all i can say is woww
it was an awesome night and i dont even know why
well for one thing i completely DOMINATED the beer pong table
people actually came and shook my hand afterwards no joke haha
it was awesome

everyone was retarrtedd it was ridiculous 
ak47 say whaaatt
  which was completely nuts
craziness
it was eventful to say the least

great night wow

stayed after school yesterday for exec board
it was really funny, considering we did nothing like always
<3<3<3<3 class council

great times

today, thought i had to stay after for yearbook since i havent gone in like 2 months
so i stayed and talked to dan and seb for a while.. then talked to dom for a while.. then by the time i got to the yearbook room, she told me there was no meeting today and the buses were already gone ha
it sucked
so i called brett and he drove me home even though he lives right next to the school because hes the best ever
definitely owe him one


YOU KNOW WHEN YOU JUST GET YOUR REPORT CARD
AND YOU HAVE ALL F'S ON IT
YOU JUST WANNA TAKE IT BACK TO THE TEACHER AND SAY
"THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH"
BALLIN'

havent written in a while

hspas are finally over
had to deal with nick every dayyyy hahah what a jerk

this weekend was really good
oh but before i say anything about this weekend id like to mention the funniest thing that ive ever witnessed in all of my years of living
so im hanging out with neil, jess, and eddie and were in my basement
they decide to turn all the lights off and turn on the strobe light
so i go "neil, i dare you to spin around as fast as you can"
so he spins, maybe a total of 3 times, trips over something, falls head first into the wall, then falls backwards into another wall, then fowards again into another wall then sideways yet again into a wall, then lands with his head in the garbage can
words cannot describe how hard we were laughing
neil cut his arm open and i had to give him an ice pack hahaha
wow i laugh thinking about it

lets seeeee
friday was mr mhs which was pretty bad
there were really funny parts then really really not funny parts
oh well
someone did squats with max gotts brother, enough said

after that was over, sam drove me and glenna back to my house
me and glenna hung out there for like 20 minutes, glenna died on my kitchen floor from laughter
good times
then joe picked us up and we went to adams house
hung out, drank, and smoked hookah with glenna and joe obviously, adam, jay, neil, sac, max, ted, and kassie
it was so much fun
we played kings
just for the record, sac is the worst ever hahaha mostly at bust a rhyme and questions
it was beyond funny
every time it was chicks, neil would drink haha and every time it was guys, kassie would drink lolll it was so funny
then glenna and kassie left around 1230 ish and i stayed hah
the 8 of us went to the diner at like 1 and then they drove me home at like 2ish
i did not stop laughing all night
neil fell 2 more times
once over the game cube, landing right on his face
and once over soda bottles, landing right on his face
then at the diner, he did the dumbest shit ever.. by accident
like wanting to put sugar in his ice tea but instead putting a straw in it, when there already was one
it was a great night

then yesterday, my aunt, uncle, and grandpa came over
i went to adams for a little while to do our history project
yes, I did OUR history project hahah he watched tv and made me a bracelet out of paper clips and complained about being bored lol
then i watched him and jay play super smash bros and then they drove me home
went out to dinner with my family
then i was suppposeed to hang out with dan and seb and robby and glenna but glenna couldnt hang out and i didnt want to go cause they were doing weird nj shit and i figured being the only girl would NOT be a good idea since they would all mess with me
so i decided not to take that path last night ha

now my brother came home at like 7 this morning and i still have not seen him because he is in fact still sleeping

good stuff

hmm so whats been going onn


went to my grandmas on saturday cause shes really sick
then my family went out to dinner before my brother went back to school
good stuff
sunday hung out with marisa and sam

dont really remember much of yesterday other than the fact that i stayed after school for no apparent reason
i hate yearbook
so i left and stelz got really mad
but idc
tj's class got cancelled so he picked me and michaell up and drove me home =)
thankfully cause i really was not in the mood to wait an hour for the bus

today was good
school was school
then i went home with dan and dom
dans possibly THE scariest person to drive with ever. i was terrified
he was literally going 100mph down a windy narrow road
holy shit i was so scared
then he kept swirving on purpose and texting with both hands so he wouldnt look at the road or use his hands to drive
hollyy shit it was scary
i love dom though haha
went back to daniels house and smoked some hookahh
then watched silence of the lambs which was extremely creepy
then went back to doms to see him haha
then dan drove me home

good times

so friday night
where to beginnnn

went to bacsiks party ha thattt was interesting

lots of drama sort of
mostly just dealing with hooking up so not THAT big of a deal
but sort of

i came up with the idea to play kings and then once they finally got the cards they wouldnt even let me play cause there were like 20 ppl haha
then we played suck and blow
wowww that was definitely an experience

played georgie in fooseball and dominated even though we lost the ball after the first like, second of playing
became friends with a bunch of unexpected people

spent most of the night, from what i remember sitting on the stairs with georgie and caner and seth
only because georgie made me
hes a very aggressive person haha

i dont even remember what else happened and i wasnt even thaat drunk
it was afun night though
at times
mostly towards the end

then went home and had to drive brett home hahah cause the kid got his license AND A MUSTANG about a week ago and already got 3 tickets so his mom took his keys away loll

i find it funny


ahh and adam asked jess (f) to prom it was so cute!! ahhh i diedd

saturday night= party in colts neck with joe glenna neil and dave.. randooom
it was kinda bad no big deal though


pretty sure i need to stop drinking every weekend
though im obviously not going to because thats just stupid

school on monday? should be an experience as always

im not even sure how to describe this weekend

it was just
so good.
like, words cannot describe

i will start with friday
so i get home from school and find out that apparently were having a party
which was fucking sweet
people started coming at like 9
we got a keg
it was incredible
was mostly my brothers friends though on friday but it was still amazzzinggg

hahaha evan aka "E. Nasty" passed out on the couch so dan, pat, and "dougy roidz" hahah (we made up nicknames as the night went on) went up and got right in their faces and started screaming "EVAN WAKE UP! WAKE UP! THERES A FIRE!!" hahahaha they got him with it like 20 different times they just kept doing it. it was ridiculously funny
hhahah so they always make fun of doug for "being on steroids" and so they went to wawa to get/steal food and so they all steal like chips and candy and stuff and doug stole protein bars hahaha pretty sure it was the funniest things ive ever heard
hahah then everyone randomly started singing together cause we put on sublime it was so funny hahha shlosberg: "I DONT HAVE MY HAIR ANYMORE NOOOOOO. I CANT HEADBANG!!... but i can open up this twislerr!!!"
hahaha i love him

then at like 430 we decided to start a game of beer pong.. 21 cup beer pong. it was ridiculous
ive never seen anything like it

saturday morning/afternoon was fun
pretty much everyone had slept over so we were like one big family by the end of the weekend haha
we ordered chinese food and stuff
dan (aka the best chugger on planet earth) tried making brownies (keyword-TRIED) but he added 1 cup extra water by accident ahah so it was really watery.. so he decided he would cancel out the water by adding flour hahaha then it was reallly floury so he decided he would cancel out the flour by adding sugar haha
basically, the brownies turned out really really REALLY bad hahah
so while this was happening, someone came and rang the doorbell but i didnt know who it was so i go there and the guys like "ARE YOUR PARENTS HOME" i was like "not right now.." he was like "NOT RIGHT NOW!? WERE THEY HOME YESTERDAY??" i was like "umm yeaaa" he goes "YEAH? YOU HAD A PARTY HERE LAST NIGHT?" i was like "not really" he was like "I KNOW YOU DID. I HEARD YOU RACING AT 430 IN THE MORNING AND I FOUND GARBAGE ALL OVER MY LAWN AND THEN THE MAILMAN TOLD ME THAT THERES THROW UP IN MY MAILBOX! SOMEONE THREW UP IN MY MAILBOX"
so at this point i was still at the door adn i had my brother, joe, justin, dan, pat, all the guys behind me cause they got really mad that this guy was yelling at me
so everyone started yelling esp my brother
it was funny
but we got it handled

then saturday night
wowww where to begin
first of all i was stressing out all day because ppl thought it was an open house party
so joe andjustin volunteered to be bouncers/security and i owe my life to them i love them for that
they sat outside with a clipboard and a list of names it was awwesome
where to even begin about the night itself
for starters everyone was drunk off their asses
especially craig hahaha wow funniest drunk EVER hands down
he finished an entire bottle of vodka himself
he also smashed 9 beer cans over his head throughout the night (7 of them were in a row)
hahah almost positive the varsity quarterback should not be doing that
his phrase for the night was "BITCHES BE RUNNIN WILD" which shortly changed to "PANSKYS BE RUNNIN WILD"
ahahaha everyone kept hitting their head on the ceiling of the loft apparently aka "the boom boom room" like a million times and everyone kept blaming me lol "FIX THAT CEILING!"
hahah at one point everyone gathered around me and startedd chanting my name and making up a song about me ahah
caner is the most random drunk alive hahah i was just randomly see him screaming "I LOVE AMERICA" or "WHAATT IS GOING OOOONNNNN" hahaha hes so funnyy
him and seth were shotgunning beers it was awesome
then seth caner anthony and georgie were playing full cup beer pong which must be ridiculous
hahaha lopez was FUCKED UPPP he was making no sense at all hahaha [hysterically laughing]: "YO SETH IS ON THE ROOF! HES ON THE ROOF! THE ROOF THE FUCKIN ROOF!" meanwhile seth obviously wasnt on the roof hahah lopezzzz "HOW IS CRAIG THAT STRONG" wow i was crying from laughter
botz came and like, immediately disppeared. i have no clue where he went haha
ross fell asleep in the funniest position ever so seth was trying to wake him up so we couldnt take pictures "ross. ross wake up. wake up before you get raped by a camera" ahaha
melissa was "flying" when tamalone and sozzi got there hahahaha wow she was hilarious
and apparently someone drew a picture of pat with chalk in the garage and wrote "i <3 sam" and we cant figure out who did it

and now my nickname is "baby sis" ?? haha prettty sure thats all pat calls me. and sometimes dan


basically, it was an amazing 2 nights
the entire junior class that i like was in my house and everyone else was kicked out haha
pretty much every varsity football, soccer, baseball, and basketball player was there
it was impressive

i love my lifeeeee


cleaned up sunday morning and now im just working on the random odors

school today WOW DRAMA
funny though
hahah georgies such a dumbbassss

prob forgot a lot but ill think of it

interesting quotes of the day yesterday
seth [doing vocab in english]: "you have ocTETS"
ross [trying to think of a slogan for the basketball team]: "we'll put our balls in your faces
ross [trying to think of a slogan for the swim team]: "we stroke, you suck"
kev: your wild

hah they make me laugh


so last night turned out very differently than planned
went to tj and klein's house for a beer pong tournament
got there, played about 3 games as a warmup before the tourny
(this would be the time in which me and marissa BEAT KLEIN AND SAMMAK THE FIRST GAME) haahha [while playing] "ill kill myself if we lose to 2 girls"
hahahha whaatttttt and who sunk the final and winning cup? thatd be I

so that was fun while it lasted
then their parents called (who are away for the weekend) and apparently heard us from the basement or something
so their dad bugged out and sent their aunt to their house whos apparently nuts
we didnt even get to 1. start the tourny and 2. go in the hot tub
it sucked
so we had to leave before she got there and she was only supposed to go and check everything out, then leave
but naturally, klein flipped out, cursed her off, and punched holes in the walls
so she stayed

gianni drove me to jess' house and me, him, her, bobby, and marissa hung out there
except marissa was in the bathroom throwing up the entire time
so jess was in there with her making her fix the toilet while she was throwing up hahah

and i was having yet another intelligent conversation with bobby and gianni
gianni: "did you know bobbo eats glass? every morning for breakfast he crushes up glass and eats it.. like with his cereal and stuff.. then for lunch he eats bolts and nails.. and afterwards he goes to home depot and eats wrenches"

hahahaha what?

we left jess' around 1ish
quite dissapointed
gianni drove me home and i went to sleep cause i was fuckin tiirred

now im still tired
so i will hopefully succeed in ignoring everyones phone calls tonight and just sleeping all night
:)

i dont even know how to describe today other than sad

dom, i love you and im always here for you

tonight turned out better than expected

originally, gianni was supposed to have a party for jon and tj's 20th bdays
but then it got cancelled last minute
which sucked cause then i didnt have plans

then me and jess decided to have girls night part 2
so i went to her house and we hung out for a while
then eddie called me so him and neil came to jess'
we hung out there for a while haha it was interesting
eddies quite a character
the kid can talk and he is by far, hands down, the most random kid ive ever met in my life
but i love it haha

then we decided to go to this kid sam's house
so eddie drove us there since he got his licenseeee :D
we got there and my brother, jay, adam, goldman, and billy were there. then kristine and kassie and sack came
it was funn
it was basically me jess eddie and neil hanging out the whole time haha so we basically could have completely stayed as jess'
but whatever

then jay drove me and my brother back to my house to get my brothers car but i just stayed home and now im really tired
so ill probably go to sleep soon
the end

this day was decent until i got home
i am so frustrated right now its not even funny

okay so i had to stay after for yearbook but when i went to the room stelzner was like "go home, no yearbook today"
this was at 2:10 which is exactly when the buses come so whatever
i was with dan who stayed after for math and he said he'd drive me home when he was done
so he drove me home and when we got to my house there were a couple ppl at my house so came in to say hey and we hung out for a while

basically the moral of the story is that everyone (meaning joe and dan) were being the biggest assholes ever to me
which if it was anyone else i probably wouldnt care
but fucking first of all, i bring dan to my house to hang out and he goes and hangs out with my brothers friends and laughs at everything joe says
that was just gay of him
then joe, where do ieven start
the kid texts me every day saying how he wanted to hang out and go out to dinner or some shit and then as soon as hes around other people hes the biggest dick to me ever
then he'll go and text me like nothings wrong
i hate him
he always tries to act cool and try to embarrass me in front of my brother and his friends
well guesss whatttt youre not fucking cool for trying to hook up with a 16 year old (me) and then being rejected and proceeding in lying to everyone about getting with her when, in reality, it will never happen

but maybe thats just how i see it

i dont understand why guys are such fucking assholes for no reason but im so fucking sick of itttttttttt

this weekend was funn
or at least saturday was

went to adam and jay's house with my brother, glenna, sack, neil, billy, and i forget who else haha
APPARENTLY eddie was supposed to come
but they didnt want him to because they thought he was gunnabring some random kid
so he called EIGHT PEOPLES CELL PHONES that were there hahah he called neil over 9 times and called me like twice
no one answered
still didnt get the hint
we wanted to just tell him that we were all at my house so he wouldnt come
then finally adam answered:
eddie: WHERE ARE YOU GUYS
adam: panskys
eddie: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
adam: yeah.. why
eddie: I JUST FUCKING CAME FROM THERE I RANG THE DOORBELL AND THEIR DAD SAID NO ONE WAS HOME
{everyone starts laughing}
adam: we just got here
eddie: IM SO FUCKING MAD AT YOU GUYS RIGHT NOW I HAD TO HITCHHIKE A RIDE AND GIVE THESE 2 GUYS A FREE BAG JUST TO DRIVE ME ALL AROUND FUCKING MANALAPAN AND YOU GUYS WERENT EVEN THERE.

omgggg he was mad
i felt really bad
but naturally none of the guys did because theyre heartless
though who does that
its so eddie to go to a place where he thinks people might be at cause he might have been invited but he doesnt actually know either for sure
haha i love itt

where to beginn

new years was the greatest new years ever
even better than my party last year
it was just
ahh
perfect
though im positive i blacked out haha i dont remember anything

went to giannis
hung out with daria and jess all night
i love them
we basically had girls night and took shots all night until the guys would randomly come upstairs and take our alcohol haha

me and jess DOMINATED in beer pong
and we AALLMOSTT beat jon and tj a few times
(theyve like, never lost)
except they lost to the cangialosis and me and jess beat the cangialosis so technically we shouldve beat jon and tj
next time next time

hahahah gianni is the funniest and dumbest person alive
G: {talks shit}
Jon: {shoots and makes it in}
G: "..YEAH SO?"
hahaha gianni makes it in.. "THATS WHAT I DO TO YOU"
wow i was dying of laughter hes too funny sometimes

it was nice no one really noticed my braces unless they were right in front of me
haha for example, gianni tackled me to the couch when he noticed lol


ahh it was amazing
<3<3<3<3<3

today=first day in school with my braces
i got plenty of mixed responses haha
lets see

adam laughed for a very long time, joe was really excited, chris said "nice braces pansky" about 50 times every time i saw him, ross seth and craig verbally harassed me at my locker haha "TRAINTRACKS" i hate them, botz was nice, mitch instantly said "ew", brad was mean haha "LOOK AT THOSE TEETH" every 4 seconds, the only person that made me feel better was dave haha i hate everyone

stayed after for yearbook
dave basically just sat there with me for 2 hours "helping me...mentally" haha
then kevin randomly showed up
so he drove me home lol
it was nice

:)

today was alright

got ready and stuff
then hung out with my brother, jordan, and his friend for a little while
then they left and joe and goldman came over
chilled with them for a tad
then glennas sister picked me up and drove us to neils where i hung out with neil glenna eddie and dave
haha theyre so gay
and creepy lol
it was good times even though they intentionally tried to make it awkward the whole time

no big deal
then joe picked us up and we came to my housee


good stufff

so this has officially been the absolute worst break ever

not only were the last 7 days the most boring and uneventful days of my life
but to make it even better, i got braces today
i dont even know what to do with myself

its like, at first i was just like whatever i dont really care.. but then all of a sudden it just hit me and it sucks
like, there were kids at my house and one of them said something so i smiled at him and i just realized how ugly i felt when i did that
i used to smile at people all the time and now i feel so gross when i smile
maybe im exaggerating but im not getting them off until after my senior year and it makes me even angrier that my parents refuse to understand my situation
all my mom has said is that she doesnt care because it doesnt affect her and all my dad has said it no one is gunna notice
2 completely obnoxious and incorrect statements and its like theyre trying so hard to make it seem like im just overexaggerating that they wont stop and try to understand how i feel
that just makes everything even worse

plus im completely dreading school and any other place having to do with socializing
i just really dont feel like hearing it from everyone

and its like, i had a hard enough time trying to find a bf as it is, now im more self conscious than ive ever been in my life
without realizing it i cover my mouth when i talk and when i laugh and most of the time i dont even allow myself to laugh

this sucks so much i seriously want to just hide in my room for 18 months until i can get these piece of shit braces off my damn teeth
my parents thought i was depressed and antisocial before
they have no idea

yesterday was definitely eventful

first of all, seth and ross got their licenses!!  wooo

not that that really affects my life.. just saying


i realized 2 things yesterday
1. that there must be something truly wrong with me since my uncle that i hate and that hates me is a behavioral psychologist. that must mean something about the way i act haha
and 2. that i absolutely suck at making plans

i made plans with about 30 people for last night, which usually doesnt matter since SOMETHING normally ends up not working out
but not yesterday

my night consisted of the following:

came home from school
sam picked me up to go to the bank and marshalls
went and met up with marisa at the diner
came back to my house for like an hour
as soon as they left, jess, dan, and dom came over
we hung out and fought and watched movies for like 4 hours
while that was happening, simon, harry, brett, and drucker stopped by to say hello since theyre home for break
so that was kinda awkward for a little while haha
then they left and i hung out with dom and dan and jess more
then dom and dan left and i just hung out with jess for a while
and finally, jess left the very second my parents came home 
so like 1230

it was a sick night
which basically consisted of everyone fighting with dan the whole time hahah
"YOURE THE MOST HATED PERSON IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW"
and everyone pointing out how dom is the dumbest kid alive haha
i dont see it
and they finally stopped saying "trubes" and "true or false" every 5 seconds hahah[
[dan texts dom]: "true or false: im texting you right now"
hahah whaatt
i love themmm


and the great fuckin news of the day?
im going to my uncles(who i hate that whole side of my family) house for channukah
and normally, the only person i talk to is my brother, naturally
but apparently, since you know, my family hates me, theyre trying to encourage my brother not to go
fuck that
its the most obnoxious thing ever and now channukah is going to be worse than it usually is

i just hate every single family oriented holiday
its ruining my childhoooodddddddd
baaaahh

soo let me think

yesterday was torturous
stayed after
but then ended up not having to 
so i had to stay for 2 hours waiting for the bus for no reason

hung out with brett the whole time who was just showing other guys his fly the whole time
had to be there i guess
hes a strange kid

chris was rapping in spanish haha
hes definitely entertaining


today sucked school wise
ive been doing so bad this marking period
which sucks  really bad
im so stressed
though not as stressed as i should be

idk whats wrong with me
whatever

botz did the do now today in english and made it "do you have a myspace? why or why not?"
ahahh
so he answered and he was all "i have a myspace because it made me who i am today"
hahaha i love myspaces one and only.. vinny botz
oh man he makes me laugh

AND he stayed awake all period today!
first time ever!!
we were excited

braaaaah

so let me thinkk
i dont really remember yesterday except i stayed after and ended up hanging out with glenna, pattyrubes, scottie, and dan 
good times

we basically just had a really long conversation about our fears 
for example, patrick is scared of whales
"theyre called KILLER WHALES.. im obviously scared of them.. who wouldnt be.. youre scared of murderers arent you? why wouldnt you be scared of KILLER whales" 
nice reasoning haha

scottie is scared of carnivals, and squids.. and marienettes?
interesting, really
you learn something new everyday 


today was alright i finally caught up in almost every class 
exciting, i know 


im getting braces on the 29th 
this sucks 


gayasss

yeah so i guess since i thought that the past week and a half couldnt possibly get any worse, i had to be proven wrong

i got sick on monday
stayed home on tuesday
went back on wednesday because i was feeling better
then thursday i got really sick and went to the doctor and he said i had really bad strep, 104 fever, etc
stayed home thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, monday, and yesterday
TODAY i finally feel completely healthy other than a cold that i might have now
TOTALLY BETTER finally
i finally went back to school and saw all my friends who were actually really excited to see me and im loving school because its not my house
but naturally my mom takes it upon herself to decide that i still have strep
since i guess shes a doctor
and decides to call the doctor and tell him that i need different medication
and now, to make a long story short, i have to go to the doctor tonight at 630 for blood work which, by the way, one of my biggest fears, to see if i have MONO

honestly WHO THE FUCK CARES AT THIS POINT clearly im done being sick
the last thing i need on top of this awful week is for me to have the best day in a while, and then have it ruined by this shit
i hate needles and i hate blood and i hate mono and i dont have it and i dont want to have it
if it was any other day this week i would have been fine with going to the doctor but i finally had a day back at school and got a change of scenery and i finally felt good and healthy and now this 

and all because my fucking mother had to decide to call the doctor and put her 2 cents in
i mean yeah
i probably have mono
but i dont fucking care
i really dont
its not gunna stop me from anything, at all
so theres no real point in me knowing
ill probably even completely forget i have it 
so fuck you parents and doctors
i hate you all  because you all suck and literally ruin my life
i thought you were here to help
i hope youre happy